Woke up feeling horrendous this morning even though had a good night last night.
Last night with a friend down Thames Court Pub having a stroll by the river and a drink talking about life and getting a female perspective on things.
We were discussing about everything that has been happening over the past 7 months and learning things about eachother. It was good to get her opinion on things – she has abit more experience in life and with relationships. Made me feel abit better about myself and calm the anxiety abit. I did have 1 cheeky Cider, then we ran back to the car – felt like it was miles away!
The more I spoke about it and heard her thoughts the more I started thinking was that I tried to do the right thing throughout the relationship. That it was bit hard on me to keep making decisons all the time – I explained that me making decisons all the time may of caused issues for the ex.
PEOPLE FORGET YOU HAVE ANXIETY
People forget that anxiety is with us day in and day out all day everyday. Especially GAD.
I saw this also today on line…
People probably forget that you have anxiety or expect it to just disappear and it does not work like that. It come and it goes – it has been something I have to live with and some people cant handle me with it.
No matter if its been 2 years or 5 years. There will be anxiety there when new things arise – I have been thinking that having that conversation with the other person calmly and productively as possible will help. Helping one another is the key. Accepting that your partner has anxiety and that they will have moments of dread/fear and being strong enough loving them enough to realise its just that as deep down they love you. It will not be easy but if your loved one is willing to sit you down and help you through things then they are a keeper.
What I think may help?
Sometime you might need your partner to just Sit you down and go right – I love you yet im not happy about this and this and this. Your anxiety is getting a little out of control and we need to do something together to help you feel less anxious. (do not stop doing what you want to do – no matter if good intentions – its not healthy or right on you)
Be Strong enough to talk to the anxious person about it and offer some reassurance – not too much. (Dont want them to get too reliant)
Try not to get offended with what is in the anxious persons head when they say what they fear – its just in their head. (It maybe hard but get it out of them no matter how crazy it might sound – so they know they can open up more to you and create more of the trust and come closer together. Remember they will be shitting it in their head)
Anxious peope will be fearful you will run a mile if they tell you – they dont want to be a burden on you. Must also make sure that the anxious person does not take advantage of you. Create some rules in dealing with things together that work for the both of you.
Just let them known you love them and that things will be ok.
Anxious people do not want to hurt you – they try hard to stay strong. Yet end up failing and will blame themselves.
COMMUNICATION IS GOD DAM VITAL!!!!
Something I put together.
I need to accept its apart of me and makes me who I am – yet there are ways to cope:
What helps you deal with your anxiety with a loved one?